A lot has happened since I last posted on my blog: I got married, hired onto my dream career environment and delve into panic mode.

I never thought I’d be married so soon, yet here I am with a tungsten ring chosen on the day of my marriage (thanks guy for working with me on a 20% discount!). You have got to love that rona’ wedding though, but I do know I owe my wife everything as I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for her – it is quite an amazing experience having the right soul merge with your path. Interesting, Reverend Thomas Johnson officiated my marriage which was pretty cool as he has done awesome things in his career including being the minister who performed the wedding ceremonies for “Love Is Blind” in season 1. Baby steps was crucial towards this point in my life, as doing too much all the time almost ruined my relationship with the most important soul I’ve ever met.

I got married during my first month at my employer, and to my surprise, they gave me a quaint wedding gift which was completely unexpected (little do they know it was the only gift we received to this day – thank you! 😊). This is why it is my dream job – I work with people who care about people, and as a self-employed contractor I can tell you, it is hard to come by. Great people, riveting culture and positivity are just a few thoughts that come to mind – no wonder we won an award for one of the best places to work at! It is certainly a challenge for me, and I wish I could snap out of old habit, but what can you do aside from move forward and get better? I’m not used to being around good people who know their craft, and as someone who barely networked for 8 years…let’s just say I can be one odd fellow, but I do mean well! Baby steps, as my considerate (understatement) higher-up puts it, is allowing me to breath, recalibrate my life and take it slow for a higher quality of work over time – and note to self, that is okay.

Panic mode, deactivated. If there is one thing I know, it is this: my life, in particular, has shown me countless of times that I worry and stress needlessly. I say “my life, in particular” instead of just “life” is because I recognize that by arbitrarily stating that all of our lives work this way is simply wrong. What way? The way it has always worked for me, and perhaps for you – it is a pattern: I conjure a vivid imagination of ‘what ifs’ in the face of an actual problem, panic and stress out about what I’d do if it were to completely be a worst case scenario and then life somehow magically and seemingly out of no-where just takes care of that problem, often in a way I could’ve never seen manifest. One week some time ago, I needed $2,800 within days to pay for rent and other essential bills to survive another month, and then a newly established friend sends me $3,400, “because why not, it is just sitting in my account and I thought about you”. Recently, I found a brand new MacBook Pro for $500 off on Facebook Marketplace, I got paid handsomely the next day while the seller held it for me despite having many, many other offers because he liked my demeanor and yet I only had pocket change in my bank account the day before the exchange. I’m typing this on a brand new M1 Pro device that cost me $2150 flat. I promise I am not frivolously spending money, I’m quite frugal with my entire life aside from tech – canned chicken salad with crackers on hard earned dollars, as I built an MRR to then have business discussions with my then-girlfriend at Colombian cuisines. Baby steps here is that life happens for you, not to you – at least for me, and to realize that life always takes care of you if you take care of your thoughts and follow through on your actions.

Anyways, couple that panic mode with other things that I have to work on such as learning that everyone isn’t interested in being my friend or how to not get conversations going needlessly despite getting excited to talk to cool people since I never really had friends since I got out of high school. That is not to say I’m sad or depressed, I just feel a bit isolated and concerned that who I am, my very essence concocted form my life experiences, is what I’d describe as lagged behind society. However, I must say that beyond the horizon of every impediment lies a lesson to be discovered. A silver lining. No accomplishment, big or small, goes unrewarded. Growing by .01% is good in the course of a life time. It is a baby step towards that which seek, and forward motion is a key ingredient you need to tip the scales in your favor.